Can you freak out from happiness? I feel so completely pregnant, and it's the happiest I've felt to the core in a long time. I'm a perpetually exploding firework, and I'm sure everyone must see my pyrotechnics.
With this kind of happiness comes complete vulnerability to the universe and what it could do. I'm at the mercy of a baby that's the size of a sesame seed, whose miniature heart is just beginning to beat. I'm at the mercy of my body, and my environment, and everything in my world. Just let me be happy, please, just let me have this.
Under your spell again.
I can't say no to you.
Crave my heart and it's bleeding in your hand.
I can't say no to you.
Shouldn't let you torture me so sweetly.
Now I can't let go of this dream.
I can't breathe but I feel...
Good enough,
I feel good enough for you.
Drink up sweet decadence.
I can't say no to you,
And I've completely lost myself,
and I don't mind.
I can't say no to you.
Shouldn't let you conquer me completely.
Now I can't let go of this dream.
Can't believe that I feel...
Good enough,
I feel good enough.
It's been such a long time coming,
but I feel good.
And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall.
Pour real life down on me.
'Cause I can't hold on to anything this good enough.
Am I good enough for you to love me too?
So take care what you ask of me,
'cause I can't say no.
Good Enough by Evanescence
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
CD12 time
July 26, 2011
It's cycle day 12 and I can't help wishing on my lucky stars that something will happen this month.
Am I really this eager for Baby Deuce, really for real? Or is it just how much I loved being pregnant that makes me want it again? The excitement. The ultrasounds. The little kicks that mean a tiny person is inside me. The magic when the baby is born.
...What will happen then? Is it any more possible to be ready for the lifestyle change of *two* children, than it was to be ready for the first? It's a scary future. Scary but wonderful, I'm sure. But we are so SPOILED with our little guy. In part, I don't want anything to change.
There's the problem. I'm so happy.
I'm not sure it's possible to be happier. I'm not sure there's enough of me to spread around a husband and two children without being spread so thin that I lose my happiness. I know I CAN do it, I just don't know if I'm going to lose something. I imagine some of what will be gained -- another person to love, the pleasure of seeing my children interact with each other, doubling this joy I already feel whenever I see my son learn something.
There's time. At this point in the trying-to-conceive process, there's lots of time to ponder and crave and worry and obsess. It's a blessing and a curse.
It's cycle day 12 and I can't help wishing on my lucky stars that something will happen this month.
Am I really this eager for Baby Deuce, really for real? Or is it just how much I loved being pregnant that makes me want it again? The excitement. The ultrasounds. The little kicks that mean a tiny person is inside me. The magic when the baby is born.
...What will happen then? Is it any more possible to be ready for the lifestyle change of *two* children, than it was to be ready for the first? It's a scary future. Scary but wonderful, I'm sure. But we are so SPOILED with our little guy. In part, I don't want anything to change.
There's the problem. I'm so happy.
I'm not sure it's possible to be happier. I'm not sure there's enough of me to spread around a husband and two children without being spread so thin that I lose my happiness. I know I CAN do it, I just don't know if I'm going to lose something. I imagine some of what will be gained -- another person to love, the pleasure of seeing my children interact with each other, doubling this joy I already feel whenever I see my son learn something.
There's time. At this point in the trying-to-conceive process, there's lots of time to ponder and crave and worry and obsess. It's a blessing and a curse.
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