Any posts about the dream of a second baby are written here in fits and starts, I realize. This is my place to go when I need to work things out, or it used to be. These days I find my highs and lows and hope and pain going more internal. Like a knife, each cut goes deeper. I spend a lot of time feeling as if I've gone into hiding. A little quiet, a little cold, a little tired. Eyes close, but can't fall asleep. Staring at the computer screen, but unable to concentrate. Voicing the emotional words without feeling any of the emotions.
In any case, if we conceive a baby this cycle, today was the magical day. So please, baby fairy, sprinkle your fairy dust on my uterus today, okay?
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