Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Food According To Fletch

Happy 15 months, Fletcher!

The older he gets, the harder it is to feed him, as he gets bored with chewing and swallowing after about three mouthfuls.

Food According To Fletcher:

Mashed Potatoes: Weird. I'm going to pull that out of my mouth and look at it. Oh no, it's stuck to my hand! *rapid hand movements flinging potatoes* Repeat.

Pasta: You got this in the toy aisle, right? *pull out of mouth, study, fling* Repeat.

Cereal in Milk: Yummy! I wonder what it feels like when I squeeze it between my fingers. Oh no, it's stuck to my hand! *scrapes off on nearest, hard-to-clean surface* Repeat.

Milk: Technically, I could hold this cup myself, but I'd rather hold it not quite high enough so you'll hear me sucking air and reluctantly prop it up for me. That frees up my hands for scraping you with my super long nails that I won't let you cut. 

Goldfish, Oyster Crackers, and Dry Cereal: Didn't I have this yesterday? Come on, give me that knife and fork you're eating with. COME ON. I WANT THEM NOW.

Gerber Jar Food: Okay, I'll eat this, at least for a while. When your guard is down I'm going to let it slide out of my mouth and then mash it into every stain-able fabric I can touch in 7 seconds. When you start cleaning up the mess, I'll grab up the spoon, full of food, and drop it on your head. Then I'll totally laugh.

Because eating is a pretty hilarious game.

Not now, I'm on the phone.

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