Wednesday, June 30, 2010

5w 3d routine

I've failed so far to properly put into words the dichotomy caused by this new routine.

How can you explain being the happiest and most content you've ever been in your life, and simultaneously anxious, agitated, needy...? So full, yet so void.

In writing about the heartache, I feel like I've under-emphasized the power of the love, the good, the happy, the peace. If I wasn't so wrapped in this love, it wouldn't hurt so much to be separated.

As everyone has said, it will "just" take time. How can you successfully adjust to something when you don't want to?

In one way, it is better today. The pain of separation isn't any less, but a routine is taking hold. Part of me is beating my fists against such a routine, but having one serves as a reminder -- surviving yesterday means surviving today.

P.S. I just found out that late last night was the first time Fletcher managed to roll from his stomach to his back all by himself!

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