28w 1d edumacation

I'm all smart now. I went to class. I even got a certificate to prove it. Certified to be a mommy. Who knew?

Andy did very well. Of course, he could be counted on to mangle our faux infant when he reached his limit with sitting still all day watching live birth videos and learning that his task is basically to be my slave in the delivery room. I think he should start practicing now.

Pretty soon he'll have to be my slave, because if I get any bigger I seriously won't be able to tie my own shoes. Right now I can't do it without wheezing.

I filled out the details of my birth plan during the class. In my hubris (ready to laugh at me, mothers?), I selected that I "may" want analgesics and that I do not want an epidural. At least, not unless my back situation makes it impossible for me to complete my job.

Yes, it should be fairly comical when it gets to the big day and I'm begging pitifully for drugs. We shall see.

We got a free book at the class, and I've been reading over everything that we learned in the class about labor -- true labor vs. false labor, relaxation techniques, episiotomies (which, as it turns out, are not common), and basically what I consider my one-day job description.

Once that has sunken in, I'll start re-studying what happens after... my rest-of-my-life job description as "parent." Certified parent.

Is it dumb that with all the pain in store for me, I still wish I could blink away the next 82 days?

In other news...

• Andy played a game with the baby already. In the wee hours of the morning, he would push at the baby and the baby would push back, etc. It was similar to the game we play with the cats when they're under the blankets.
• I had my first encounter with a strange drunk woman I don't know who ooohed and aaahed all over me just because I'm shaped like humpty dumpty.
• I discovered that if I try to wear my pre-pregnancy shirts, they stop halfway down the belly and I do, indeed, look just like humpty dumpty.
• I'm now registered at Shopko, in addition to Wal-Mart and Target. We now have about a gozillion things registered. I like to think it's for added convenience for those who are kind enough to want to shower the baby with gifts. But it's probably just because I'm obsessed.
• I know the chiropractor is not a miracle worker, but seriously? No relief yet? At all? Maybe I'll take that epidural now.