CD9 It can wait

September 13, 2011

I've been trying not to think too much about our failure to conceive or the whole process in general. While (normally) anticipation is half the fun, when it comes to trying to conceive, this stretch of time just feels like one big annoying failure.

Logical Side of Brain says: It can wait. We don't need a baby immediately 9 months from now. It can WAIT.

I love being able to focus completely on Fletcher and it's going to break my heart the first time he realizes that he has to share his parents. It's hard enough keeping one safe and fed and clean and happy. How are we going to do two at the same time?

It can WAIT.

I can't remember getting 8 hours of sleep in one night. Maybe six months ago I managed? I don't know. I can't remember not feeling exhausted. And someday, when there is a toddler and a newborn, I'll have even less sleep.

It can WAIT.

Yet...

Stupid Side of Brain says: Baby! I want a baby! And two weeks from now, I'm going to use up a dozen pregnancy tests and get upset when each damn one is negative.

This really should be more fun.