Friday, July 22, 2011

Phantom Pooper

I'm not the first one to use the phrase "Phantom Pooper," but I am ascribing it a new meaning.

Angela wrote:

By which she meant:

Fletcher has had this problem too, where we expect an apocalyptic diaper and it turns up nothing. However, I must postulate that there is a worse phantom-pooping scenario. The opposite of her definition, in fact.

Yesterday morning, I was given no warning. No grunts or holding of breath, no red face (what I call "poop face") or change in expression at all. No smell, even.

But poop he did, and I'll never know what length of time had passed before I noticed. Thirty minutes? An hour?  However long it took for the mess to spread to the four corners of the diaper and BEYOND.

My kid poops like this guy.

I don't actually know how Billy Zane poops.

I washed my hands at every opportunity yesterday, and I still feel dirty.

I fear that the surprise diaper is becoming a trend, though this was the worst one due to no smell warning. Time to feed him broccoli and beans?

No comments:

Post a Comment