CD7 effects

While the emotional effects are becoming more manageable, the physical effects of the miscarriage are hanging on longer than expected. My week-long headache is entering migraine territory, and the hypotension has me dizzy and nauseated for most of the day.

I feel as if I could lay on the couch for about two weeks straight just staring into space. If I had any energy I'd feel like Forrest Gump deciding "for no particular reason" to run across the country and back. I need some empty space, some numbness, to disappear for a while, and maybe I would be sane when I returned.

I should be careful what I ask for -- if the hypotension gets any worse I'll be in a coma.

We're planning to attend church on Sunday, and it has me a little nervous. I don't know what God and I will say to each other.

From "Do What You Have To Do" by Sarah McLachlan.

Fate has lead you through it

You do what you have to do


And I have the sense to recognize

that I don't know how to let you go


Every moment marked

with apparitions of your soul

I'm ever swiftly moving

trying to escape this desire


The yearning to be near you

I do what I have to do



But I have the sense to recognize
that I don't know how to let you go