Sunday, April 25, 2010

34w 6d ready

Everything is ready. My bag is packed. Baby's bag is packed. We have the car seat, the diapers, the cute going-home outfit.

Now the strange dreams are surfacing. As if it isn't bad enough that I can't sleep through the night, I'm waking up stressed and worried by the dumb images my subconscious digs up. Last night I gave birth to a baby girl who was, the very next day, potty trained and speaking... and one week later was a grown woman (who weirdly enough had no hair and wore very bad makeup).

In the dream it was explained as a rare condition called sarcoidosis (which I just Googled and found out is actually a swelling/inflammation disease, not a condition where you grow to adulthood in a matter of seven days). I loved this child/woman/whatever she was, but felt deeply panicked and cheated by the situation. And woke up stressed.

So I busied myself this morning with adding the final touches to the hospital bags, into which I've packed much more than baby or I will actually need. I stood motionless in the nursery for a while, just looking, because everything is pretty well unboxed and unwrapped and waiting for baby's arrival.

We're all waiting for baby's arrival, ready in all the ways that anyone can be. Eager and impatient, fearful of the unknown, worried for all the things that can go wrong... but ready.

Sia was sadly underrepresented on the blog. Here is "I Go To Sleep," her cover of The Pretenders:
When morning comes again
I have the loneliness you left me
Each day drags by
Until finally my time descends on me
I go to sleep
And imagine that you're there with me

1 comment:

  1. Well, considering you were potty trained in two days, it's not TOO weird, I suppose. ha-ha. Grandma B. is just as eager as mom and dad are for baby's arrival.