Thursday, March 25, 2010

30w 3d husband


Another year has passed for Andy. Even though he was stuck at work, I tried to fill his birthday with good things like apple pie and pizza and cookies and balloons. And lots of love.

He has this thing with "joking" about what a worthless/useless loser he is, mostly when he is at work or feeling down about his working situation. It isn't that he's ungrateful for the job. The truth is... if he didn't deserve so much better, there would be no reason for him to be this dissatisfied. If he wasn't worth so much more than his employer has made him, he wouldn't feel demoralized. If he wouldn't make a great asset to the companies to which he has sent his resume, he wouldn't be so dejected by the lack of response.

Honey, you are far -- so far -- from "loser." There's nothing I can say to make your job suck less. But I can remind you of what you already know so well: I am on your side in all things. No one could ever love you more than I, except perhaps this little person whom we've made. You can think of that the next time you sling your arm around me in the middle of the night and find that you're unable to sleep with all the kicking and scraping and swimming around that's happening in my belly under your arm.

You put that little kicker there and I love you for it, just as I love you for being so funny, for the way your brain works, your common sense, the way you laugh, how you're not afraid to pick fights with strangers, how you force hugs out of people, how you clean the house when you realize I'm not going to, how you care enough to get angry when I'm mean to you, how you try to protect me from my own gullibility, how you see the beauty in small things like a well-made guitar, how you pour your love out to your cat, the way you're unafraid to be honest, the million small ways you have of showing me you that you love me too...

Happy Birthday.

From one of "our" songs... "No One Like You" by Scorpions:
I just need you like never before
Just imagine you'd come through this door
You'd take all my sorrow away
There's no one like you
I can't wait for the nights with you
I imagine the things we'll do
I just want to be loved by you
No one like you


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