Monday, September 28, 2009

5w 3d storm

Andy and I both found ourselves unusually tired around 7:00 p.m. last night. After a half hour of sleeping on the couch, I headed upstairs with him to take a nap in a real bed. But it was here, while my husband slept beside me with deep, steady breathing, that I lay awake and thought of my baby.

We had the window open to the violent thunderstorm. It was dark as night but with an unusual, faint glow. The rushing of the rain was soothing, the thunder and lightning dramatic. I lay with my hands over my belly just thinking about what's happening now and what's coming, speaking in a way to my baby, listening to him grow.

So much is changing. To help me keep track, here's a graphic listing of symptoms.
  • My breasts are sore and have grown. *Sigh* Another cup size is the last thing my back needs.
  • The nausea continues to worsen, though nothing has come up.
  • I've never belched this much in my life.
  • Same goes for heartburn.
  • My hips and legs ache. As flexible as I am, stretching isn't helping. The return of growing pains is more than a little frustrating.
  • FATIGUE. Wow, I thought my head was going to roll off my body when we were out to dinner last night. It was not like being tired; it was like life had seeped out of me.
  • The lightheadedness isn't new, but it's definitely hitting with more frequency. I'll be interested to see where my blood pressure is now.
  • Vivid dream -- just one so far. It was a kind of nightmare that involved my cat being the baby and I couldn't get a diaper on him and there was poo everywhere. It was horrifying at the time, and now just hilarious.
  • I thought the cramps were done, but they're making a comeback today. This, in turn, has brought on a resurgence of miscarriage fears. I'm analyzing every twinge and ache and finding it difficult to resist the urge to "check."
One more week to our first doctor appointment! I need the doctor to tell me it's viable so that I can quell (or at least reduce) the fears. I think it will also be a milestone for Andy, having the doctor's word and perhaps sensory proof that we have created a baby. Every moment, it grows and we come closer to the day -- no longer proverbial -- that we will be parents!

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